Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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