Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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