just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
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I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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