11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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