It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize