Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's shark week go big or go home
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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