We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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