I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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