i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
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I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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