You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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