It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Boobs are out for the taking
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize