After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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