Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize