She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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