I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize