Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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