haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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