Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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