his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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