you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize