when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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