I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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