have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize