That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize