school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize