You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize