What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize