I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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