I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize