omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize