I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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