seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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