dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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