he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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