if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
how drunk are you?
Several
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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