And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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