Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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