What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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