Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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