it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize