I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize