Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize