you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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