we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize