Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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