someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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