Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize