You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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