Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize