so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize